I Don't Believe It
by BreeTheFree
Summary: Jayfeather is about to learn a shocking secret from Leafpool.


**Spoilers for those who haven't finished reading Sunrise and Long Shadows. **

**I wrote this a long time ago...I think I was 13 or 14 years old. :P **

**This was before the LeafxCrow = JayHollyLion theory was confirmed. **

**Hope you enjoy. :)  
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**~ Bree**

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"There! I see some mallow over that stream." Leafpool mewed to Jayfeather, her tail stirring the dead leaves on the forest floor. "You want me to go get it for you?"

Jayfeather shook his head. "I'll get it myself." He replied. Though he couldn't see her, he could picture Leafpool nodding her head reluctantly. Anxiety and fear flashed from her pelt, as strong as the wind in a storm. Jayfeather frowned, puzzled. Leafpool had never been this jumpy._ I wonder what's bothering her?_ He tried taking a peek into her mind, but all he saw was darkness swirling around some memory he couldn't decipher.

Turning away from his mentor, the medicine cat apprentice turned towards the stream. He could smell the sweet scent of mallow, making him feel light on his paws. Hearing the water splash against the rocks of the stream, he confidently padded towards it, his ears perked and his tail high, and waded through, chilling him to the bone.

As soon as he felt the pebbles of the shore bumping against his pads, he shook the water off his pelt and bounded towards the herbs, feeling the leaves, as soft as kit fur, with his nose. With his teeth, he bit off a few leaves and savored the sweet flavor as he turned around to head back towards Leafpool. _Great. I have to get wet again._ He thought irritably, feeling the water washing against his legs.

"Good job." Leafpool murmured as he dropped the mallow leaves beside her paws. Jayfeather nodded, enjoying her praise, but was startled when he heard Leafpool get up abruptly, tension prickling from her fur, and began bounding towards the trees with quick and unsteady steps.

"Where are you going?" Jayfeather asked. He scooped up the mallow leaves in his jaws and ran after her. Leafpool continued on deeper into the forest.

Reaching the Sky Oak, Jayfeather heard her pawsteps slow down, and her haunches as she let them drop onto the leaf strewn floor. He caught up to her, and spat out the mallow leaves, frustrated. "Okay, what is going on?" He hissed.

Leafpool didn't reply.

"Well?" Jayfeather demanded.

"Oh, Jayfeather." Leafpool cooed. The affection in her voice startled him, and he had no choice but to stay still as his mentor began to nuzzle his ears._ Like a mother would..._ He realized with a jolt.

Leafpool broke away from Jayfeather and fell silent again. He heard the leaves crunch under her pads as she shifted her weight from side to side.

"I don't understand." Jayfeather mewed carefully. He could feel anxiety and fear washing from off his mentor's pelt in waves, so strong it nearly toppled him over. "What--"

Leafpool sighed, and when she spoke, her voice was so low Jayfeather had to strain his ears to make out what she was saying. "I've been longing to tell you this for a very long time. I don't think you'll believe me, but it's true." She paused and swallowed. "All I ask is that you listen."

Jayfeather understood the seriousness in Leafpool's voice and nodded obediently. "Okay. Go on."

"Jayfeather, I am your mother."

Jayfeather snorted, but fear and astonishment took away most of the humor in his voice. "Y-You're...kidding, right?"

Leafpool growled. "No, I'm not."

"Is this some sort of trick?" Jayfeather hissed. "I thought medicine cats weren't supposed to have kits! Tell me this isn't true! _Tell me this isn't true!_"

Leafpool's voice cracked, and when she spoke she sounded desperate. "Is is, Jayfeather. _It is!_ Let me explain, I beg you."

Jayfeather felt so angry, it made his pads itch and his ears burn. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. He flattened his ears.

More fear and anxiety rolled off of Leafpool's pelt, and Jayfeather could feel her shaking as she continued. "I found out I was pregnant seasons ago, when prey was running rich. I was frightened, and was worried that the Clan would find out and punish me severely, since..." She broke off and scratched at the ground hard. "I...I broke probably one of the most important rules in the warrior code."

"I used the abundance of prey as a cover up for me being plump, and the Clan fell for that and didn't suspect a thing. Squirrelflight found out." She paused. "But I made her swear to never tell Firestar or anyone else, and she agreed. She too was pregnant with Brambleclaw's kits, and she helped me through."

"Brambleclaw...who...wait...who did you mate with?" Jayfeather growled, too angry to care if she scolded him for interrupting her.

Leafpool froze, and her breathing stopped for just a moment before it started up again at a faster rate. "I'll get to that." She mumbled.

"As I worked and as the moons went past, I could feel you growing inside me, and the time for you to be born came so fast, I wasn't even prepared. The birth pains hit me hard during one leaf-bare night. I gathered enough herbs and dragged myself out to the forest through the dirtplace tunnel, and found a hidden spot where I could rest."

"Squirrelflight happened to be on guard that night, since she insisted that she at least do some warrior work even while she was expecting kits. She followed me, and went into labor about the same time I did." Leafpool took in a shaky breath. "Squirrelflight gave birth to Lionclaw and Hollyleaf...and I...I gave birth to you."

"Is that why I was born outside the hollow?" Jayfeather whispered. "Is that why I have memories of walking in the snow when I was very small?"

"Yes."

Jayfeather felt the ground cave in beneath his paws. He shook his head to clear his senses.

"So...Hollyleaf and Lionclaw...we're not really brother and sister?" He felt sorrow seep inside his heart, and let out a low wail. This knowledge was too great for him to handle, and he felt as though some part of him had died. Living with the thought of Hollyleaf and Lionclaw as his siblings his whole life, and having that taken away from him, was hard.

He felt distress flash from Leafpool. "Jayfeather... I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?" Jayfeather stiffened and lashed his tail. "Sorry? Don't you realize what you've done?"

Leafpool let in a sharp gasp of air, and she dropped her voice to a pained whisper. "Yes, I know."

"Who's the father?" Jayfeather snapped. "Who is my real father?"

"Crowfeather."

He froze, disgusted. Turning away, he began to claw at the ground, leaving deep marks in the soil. "I'm named after him, aren't I?" He spun around to face his mentor again.

"Yes." Leafpool rasped. "I loved him so much."

"But he already has a kit! And a mate! How could--"

"We ran away." Leafpool interrupted. Her voice was almost emotionless. "Before he took Nightcloud as a mate, we ran away together. But I eventually chose my Clan over my love of my life, and we went our separate ways...but I brought with me some difficult consequences."

Jayfeather couldn't take it anymore. He turned around slowly and began to walk towards the direction of the ThunderClan camp, dragging his tail through the needles strewn across the forest floor. He could feel Leafpool's desperation and distress flooding off of her pelt in waves, but he didn't stop.

He just couldn't believe it.

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**:) Review? Thanks for reading. **


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